warning: 3 am ramblings of a senioritis plagued adolescent ahead

I can't wait to be finished with school. I am so ready to move beyond memorizing equations and Spanish verb conjugations. 

When I look at things happening around the world {see labor camps in North Korea, the conflict minerals crisis in the Congo, etc.} my heart literally aches. I want it all to change. 

The tragedies that these people are facing all over the world -- on a daily basis no less -- are heartbreaking and sobering. All of that makes high school seem very superficial and insignificant, you know? 

But honestly, I'm not even 100% sure what I want to do yet, post graduation. {Though I do know that it includes many years of further education.} I have yet to encounter a degree that adequately prepares you for a future career in politics, disease eradicating, and warlord destroying. At least not one that can be neatly packaged in a four to eight year career plan. 

Prayers for my future advisers would be appreciated. Because the closer and closer I get to actually beginning college, the more and more it looks like I actually want to be Ironman. 

Sounds about right. But don't forget the part about warlord destroying, Tony. 

~ Abby

p.s. I mostly wrote this post because I made my housing deposit today, and requested my roommate for the 2014-2015 school year. So I am more than a bit excited. Just in case you were wondering. 

p.p.s. You also might want to pray for said future roommate. I have a feeling that negotiating closet space rights with her might become somewhat of an issue, what with all of my fancy mechanical suits and whatnot. 

summer rambliness + picture things

“And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer.” 
― F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

This summer, thus far, has been spectacular. 

I actually managed to secure a job, and test into a college level math class.  It's weird, getting up and working eight hours a day/attending night classes twice a week has been exhausting, but it's taught me to value free time.  Also, coupons for free gas/food.  Also, anything free in general.

But in between all of that has been great.  Vacation happened, as well as my studio's summer showcase.  Movie premieres, coffee dates, and sleepovers have occurred.  And I've basically lived in cutoffs/sundresses when I'm not working. 

And on a side note, my family managed to order almost $40 worth of food at Taco Bell last Sunday.  I didn't even know that was humanly possible.  #ipromisewerenotobese #bigfamilyprobs #WHATDIDWEORDER

photographic proof. it really happened people. srsly. 

On a completely unrelated note, I finally edited all of the pictures I took during vacation.  It took me about three weeks, but hey; it's the journey, not the destination.  {Or something philosophical like that.} 

Note: I am not a photographer, nor do I think I am. I just like shooting things with my cannon. *ba dum tshh*

Anywho, if things get quiet around here this summer, it's because I'm out doing things. Like reading. And sleeping. And hopefully getting a tan. {Hey, a girl can always dream.} 

~ Abby

    

monday odium: the last form of acceptable discrimination

via. 

"Ugh. Tomorrow is Monday." 

"Weekends should be three days long. Going straight from Sunday right into Monday is just ungodly." 

"If Lady Gaga and Ronald McDonald had a love child, I'm pretty sure that it's name would be Monday." 

These may or may not all be things that have come out of my mouth at some point. I used to hate Mondays. They were the Green Goblin to my Spiderman. The Mr. Wickham to my Lizzie Bennet. The toothpaste to my orange juice. In a nutshell, I hated them in all of their early morning and school work-bringing glory. 

But my opinions have somewhat shifted recently. 

My ill feelings toward the beginning of the work week began to change when I stumbled upon this gem: 

                                                                                      

"This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. "

                                                                                  -- Psalm 118:24 

And I just so happened to read it on a particularly bad Monday morning, when I was in a particularly bad mood. Ouch. That's pretty convicting. 

But really now, let's think about this; today is a day that the LORD has made. Like, he made it. Which in it of itself is pretty darn impressive. I can't make a perfectly round circle, let alone an entire day. So it's really quite selfish and ungrateful of me to not rejoice and be glad in it, simply because I don't feel like "getting back into the swing of things". What really needs to change is my attitude. 

So with that perspective in mind, I'm starting down the long hard road of no-more-Monday-bashing. And so far, it's going pretty well. I'm settled in with some coffee, the Train station on iHeartRadio, and my Spanish homework. Plus, I've only checked Tumblr ONCE so far today. {Now if that isn't productivity, I don't what is.} 

My name is Abby, and I've been Monday Hatred free for two weeks. 

And on a side note, I should totally start a support group for this. I could call it "The Monday Lovers" -- TML for short. Yes? No? Maybe? 

Okay, perhaps not.

~ Abby 

nostalgia

This pretty much sums up exactly how I've been feeling lately. Honestly, I'm just done with high school. I'm done with stupid trivial things, and shallow people. I'm done with drama, and cliquish, catty girls. I'm especially done with immature boys, who break my friend's hearts, and want to date us for all of the wrong reasons.

I'm just tired. And I sometimes feel it; a deep ache, all the way down in my bones.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a pretty happy, laid back person. But I've basically had enough with the majority of my generation. Seriously, some of them make me want to weep for the future of humanity.

I'm just ready to move on, and leave all of it behind -- which I know is good, and natural.

But it makes me really sad. You see, three years ago I was in eighth grade. I was innocent, pure, and my biggest worry was my awkward, frizzy hair. I looked up to high school girls; I marveled at how "together" they seemed. They were poised and stunning; I was gangly and average.

I could not wait to get into high school. I was convinced that 9-12 grade would turn me into "one of those girls", and I would be completely satisfied.

But now I'm a junior, and I'm taking my first college exam tomorrow. And I am not satisfied. I'm already itching to move on to the next phase in my life. Part of that is because high school can really suck, but part of it is my attitude. I need to change that.

I don't want to live chasing the next big thing. I don't want to spend my college years anxiously waiting for graduation. I don't want to spend post-graduation pining away for a husband. I don't want to spend post-marriage waiting for retirement.

I don't want to spend my life waiting -- I want to spend my life doing.

Sometimes dreaming of the future isn't so good, I suppose.

~ Abby

p.s. I know this is kind of a depressing post, but sometimes it's healthy to remember that life is not always made of fairy dust and unicorns.

p.p.s. I feel like I need to apologize for the sporadic posting, and rather random subjects that have popped up around here lately. I also feel as if I should promise that future posts will be more concise/have more of an actual direction. But I can't promise that, because life happens. So if that bothers you, the unfollow button is there for a reason. *ahem*

p.p.p.s. I'm pretty sure that was the longest "p.p.s." in the history of the world. Also, I'm not even sure if there is such a thing as a "p.p.p.s." is it illegal to use such a term in blogland? Will I be fined? I'm just going to go now.

ramble: why i love 4 am and post it notes

At approximately four a.m. last Wednesday morning, I wrote this sticky note: 

As you can probably see, it's a list of school - related things that I wanted to accomplish before the weekend. After completing this little memo, I promptly stuck it on my wall, and forgot about it. Until yesterday afternoon, that is. 

I think the most interesting thing about this little note is that last line. It says "Read HP and do epic things." 

Now the whole "read HP" thing is coming along quite nicely. I'm knee deep in The Deathly Hallows, and am currently camped out with Harry and Hermione in a scary forest, accompanied by a rather corrupted piece of neckwear. But activities of the epic variety seem to have been a bit lacking. 

However, I have made homemade pop tarts, listened to an unhealthy amount of Ed Sheeran, and turned cartwheels with a friend. All of those things are epic; just not a honey badger and Chuck Norris are having a wrestling match type epic. 

BUT yesterday I had a pretty epically hilarious conversation with a friend of mine about how people google funny/weird/random things. And our discussion intrigued me so much that I decided to make a list of the last five things that have been googled on my laptop, and to then attempt to write about the experience. 

So without further ado, here are the last 5 entries in my google search history. (And no, they are not all from the same day... I do not actually google much, apparently.) 

Since I am obviously so technologically savvy, I can only conclude that I googled this just to test Google's knowledge. Never fear, Google knows what it's talking about. 

Now this one is a bit more interesting. And I still am unaware of wear I can actually purchase one of these gems. Google how you disappoint me. 

I feel like this one needs some explaining; you see, I started wondering how much energy it takes for a human just to exist. My mom, being the ex nurse that she is, told me that you can calculate that by figuring up a person's basal metabolic weight. {Which, by the way, varies depending on height/weight/gender.} I found out that my body would use up about 1,400 calories even if I just sat around all day! I suddenly don't feel so guilty about those pizza rolls...

I'm finding it rather ironic that I googled this twenty minutes before I googled the basal weight thing. 

I have no memory of searching this -- in fact, I have no idea of who he is. So I guess someone in my family looked him up, which I'm kind of finding slightly creepy. I'll just say that the family ghost did it. 

In addition to these life changing things, I also learned some other interesting tidbits as I gallivanted around the Google. Like, did you know that Google is a Taylor Swift fan? 

Speak Now? Get it? I'll be quiet now. 

Also, Google did not understand the clicking of my camera's lense. Pity. 

What's the weirdest thing you've googled? 

~ Abby 

EDIT: I found out who Chris Pine is. He apparently played that one guy in The Princess Diaries 2. Here's a picture of his face:

Yeah, I'll just go with the whole family ghost thing. 

of the future

Lately I've been really, really excited for the future. Mainly for college. 

I have a little more than 3 more semesters to complete before I finish high school. And then I'll be D.O.N.E. *squeals and does a happy dance*

Now don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed high school. I love my friends. I like doing silly, somewhat immature things with them, and I enjoy being young with them. (I hope that makes sense.) But at the same time, I cannot wait for the future. I keep flyers and brochures from my two favorite colleges with my schoolbooks, because looking at them helps keep me motivated. I walk around campuses in awe of the beautiful buildings; picturing myself studying for some test in an obscure corner, or cramming for an exam in a library. It's kind of silly, I know. But I'm indescribably excited to study what I love; to meet new people and start a 'new' life.

But at the same time, I'm cherishing the place I'm at right now. I don't have to worry about bills or loans. I don't have to think about where my next meal is going to come from. I can spend my evening with my nose in a book, or count the constellations with a friend on a rooftop. I am relatively free -- even if it doesn't feel like it a times -- and I am grateful for that.

But I am still so very excited for the future. 

What are your dreams? 

~ Abby

time flies

 

Well, I've had this blog for exactly a year now.

 

Seriously, the fact that I've stuck with something like this is pretty amazing. I'm so glad that I started blogging though. It's great to be able to look at my old entries and photos and seeing how much things have changed in a year; even though some (most actually) of my posts are pretty embarrassing now.

 

A year ago today I was stressing out about taking the PSAT for the first time, preparing to go to my first high school dance, and flashing around my shiny new learner's permit. Since then I've survived chemistry (relatively) unscathed, gotten my license (hello freedom), made a ton of new friends, and experienced and tried so many new things.

 

It's crazy to think about, but by this time next year, I'll be filling out applications for college.

 

A year ago I couldn't wait for time to pass, for high school to finish. And while I'm still looking forward to that, I'm pretty content with my life right now. I feel very, very blessed.

 

Before I conclude this little ramble, I want to thank my followers. (Geez, 41 of you!!!) When I started blogging, I never actually thought that I'd have any followers, so that aspect has been amazing.

 

Well, I'm off to do Spanish homework, and to write a letter to a lovely friend of mine. (Who might in fact, be reading this right now... :)

 

Time flies,

 

Abby

 

 

september challenge + a LONG ramble

 

via

 

I have been attacked by the creativity monster.

 

I think it began at the end of the last school year. The monsterous beast reared it's ugly head during finals week, and sucked me into it's treacherous clutches. I was sleep deprived, irritable, and pretty much running on straight coffee. (Apparently it's a side effect of taking enough classes to equal almost two full years of highschool in one.) Throw in some relationship issues, and a mounting pressure to live up to some unrealistic standards, and you had one stressed out teen. Writing of any sort, let alone blogging, was not a priority.

 

Then the summer came, and the monster tightened it's fatal grip. I was under summer's sleepy spell, and I had zero motivation to do anything productive whatsoever. If it wasn't  necessary, and wasn't a 4-H project, it mouldered untouched, in some dark corner somewhere. (Not something I'm proud of, but I'm trying to be honest here.)

 

Months passed, and I did not write anything of signifigance.

 

Not a journal entry, not a short story, not a blog post.

 

Don't get me wrong, I definitely wrote; just not anything worth reading. What little I accomplished was done so half heartedly, and was therefore uninteresting. And it just wasn't my writing voice that was lacking enthusiasm; I was apethetic, and having a hard time finding the motivation to do things that I normally really enjoyed -- things like dancing, photography, etc.

 

Then I had a very important (internal) conversation with myself. It went a little something like this:

 

"Self, you need to get it together. You need to roundhouse kick that creativity killing, motivation sucking monster in the face, and show it who's boss. What are you waiting for?! Pick up your pencil, your camera, your jazz shoes. Goest thou forth and conquer!!!"

 

And what did I say back to this wise, strongly opinionated, and somewhat violent version of myself?

 

"Okay."

 

Profound, I know. But it brings me to my point: you are only as (un)productive or (un)sucessful as you allow yourself to be.

 

"The secret to getting ahead, is getting started."

-- Mark Twain

 

So let's get started with the challenge, shall we?

 

September Challenge (a.k.a The I Want My Creativity Back Plan):

 

1) Spend time with The Creator each morning

 

2) Do not overlook the beauty of the ordinary

 

3) Take each day at a time

 

4) Give up the internet for a week

 

As of midnight tonight, I will begin number four. I'm not on the internet a ton, but it can be a major distraction. So for me personally, I will not be on blogger, twitter, tumblr, or any social networking at all until next Wednesday. (For my friends who read this, I will also not be responding to texts.) I am hoping that this will give me extra time to spend doing productive things, and refreshing to boot.

 

Until next week,

 

~ Abby

 

p.s. I really really hope that no one thinks I am crazy after reading this post. I promise, I am at least somewhat sane.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



where did summer go?

Warning: This post contains grainy pictures, and incomplete thoughts. Reader discretion is advised.

:hanging out with dear, dear friends::state fair and all of it's craziness (second in the state baby!)::frappe break during photography judging with some amazing girls::Kevin the Lemon, the employee of the month at the junior leader's stand, and consequently, the real star of the 4-H fair::sno cone runs with friends::new hair, because sometimes you just need a change::shopping with little sisters::new soccer cleats::

Where has this summer gone? Seriously. I start school in nine days, and it's almost surreal. Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely looking forward to the new school year, but I'm not quite ready to let go of this summer.

But on the other hand, I am SO excited for fall. For one thing, dance starts back up again. Oh my goodness, I have missed it so incredibly much. In fact, I'm so excited that I may spontaneously combust the moment I walk through the studio doors. But I digress.

And I guess summer isn't completely over yet; there are still sleepovers to be had, and King's Island passes to be used. Still, August is passing quickly, and it's taking the last few freedom - filled days with it.

How's your summer been?

~ Abby



learning, growing, changing.

Photo credit: My friend Jana. Expression courtesy of the broken floorboards I thought I was about to fall through. ;)

I am learning a lot. I mean, a lot.

This past year, (especially this summer,) has been a huge growing period for me. I have learned so very much about relationships, myself, and just life in general. I have found that people never really stay the same -- we are always learning, growing, changing. I look back on myself even a month or two ago, and I am almost shocked at my naivete.

I feel like I've experienced so much, well, life -- especially this summer. I know, I know, I am only seventeen years old, practically a baby. But I feel like every single day has brought about a new experience, which in turn develops and grows my character. I am nowhere near the person I was at sixteen, and I am significantly different from who I was even two months ago.

I am so thankful for this though. I am wiser, I am stronger, I am more confident. I am more me.

I have had my heart broken, then put back together. I have said goodbye to one amazing friend, and hello to a new one. New experiences and opportunities are arising everywhere I look. Life for me is changing, and almost faster than I can keep up with it.

Now, I hope this doesn't sound narcissistic. I am still an immature, silly teenager. I'm sure that I'll look back on this post a year from now, and practically roll my eyes at the irony of it all. God still has an incredibly long way to go when it comes to refining my 'rough spots'.

But really, this year has been amazing, and I cannot wait to see what the next year holds.

So junior year, come at me bro.

~ Abby

p.s. Sorry for the long blogging break! I promise though, I have a lot of new stuff planned, so keep checking back. :) 

the epic tale of the three peacocks

It all started innocently, with one small purchase on a Saturday night. I bought a pair of peacock earrings, thinking that they were cute and unique. {Note to future husband: I really like avian themed jewelry, apparently.} The more I looked at them, the more I liked them. So of course, I did what any girl would (probably) do: I wore them the next day.

{Note to self: backless, dangly earrings do not hold up well when worn through countless v-ball games and water fights at open houses.}

Yep, I lost one.

I paid *insert large amount for a poor teenager here* dollars on them, and they didn't even last 24 hours.

I was disappointed, to say the least.

But then the sun shone, and my lovely mom and sister surprised me with another pair today. I was very shocked, especially considering how far out they had to drive to pick them up. Just the fact that they thought of me meant way more than the actual earrings.

As I began to write this, I had a very clever, thought provoking way to wrap this post up. But it has left me, unfortunately. So I guess while this {somewhat pointless} little story may not be epic, it does explain why I have three peacocks.

Do you enjoy poultry themed adornments?

~ Abby



of writing and obnoxiously colored pants {aka my summer so far}

This summer has been great this far. Earlier this week I went on a small shopping trip, and actually bought a bright red pair of pants. And a pair of cobalt blue ones. Yes, I have worn them out in public, but only to Walmart so far. {And let's face it, the people at Walmart aren't particularly known for their amazing fashion choices either, so I suppose I blended in.}But rest assured, the pants shall be worn proudly throughout this summer -- any weird looks I get will simply be a bonus. :P





One of my best friends got her license recently. So naturally I wrote her a cheesy congratulations-you-got-your-license-celebratory-poem, because that's what best friends do, right? Of course it is. The poem was about roses, ghosts, bacon, and a lot of other poetic stuff. It was a work of literary genius, if I do say so myself.

And speaking of writing, I actually finished my first short story this week. This past school year gave me a lot of opportunities to develop my writing style, and I've decided to continue writing creatively throughout this summer. I also have an ideas for a few other stories, one of which I may or may not attempt to turn into a novel. I suppose that remains to be seen.

I'm really enjoying this "beginning" of the summer. Being able to stay up until three or four in the morning,  {without having to worry about school the next day,} has been amazing. Spontaneous plans with friends are suddenly possible, instead of everyone having to pass because of homework. It's been quite lovely.

How's your beginning of summer going so far?

~ Abby



shades of gray

image courtesy of weheartit

I really, really love the color gray. It's such a comforting, natural hue. Nothing about it particularly stands out, but it looks so pretty.

 When I see gray, I think of old black and white photos, fuzzy new kittens,and comfy old sweaters. I think of the sky's color that moment when it's not quite morning, yet not quite night. I remember singing in the rain with friends, and goofily waving at passing cars. I think about driving for the first time, and the feel of the vehicle's gray leather seats. I think of pencil sketches, melting snow, and new CDs. I think of gray.

Do you like this wonderful shade?

~ Abby

p.s. For some reason blogger published this last Thursday when it was still a draft. Awkward. ;)

just some awkward rambliness

image courtesy of weheart it

I had an amazing, amazing Easter. It began with a great church service, continued with some quality food and fellowship time with some friends at Wendy's, and then concluded with some rather unexpected family time at the end of the day. It was good.

I broke my toe on Saturday night. Which consequently, is why I wore black oxford knockoffs with my white sundress to church on Easter. When I came out of my room, my mother may or may not have given me the "I can't believe your teenagery self" look, and she may or may not have told me that I looked like I belonged on the "special bus." I love my mom, she never tries to sugarcoat it. :)

I am currently obsessed with the above photo.

I am also currently obsessed with tumblr.

That may or may not be a good thing.

I ordered a pair of yellow shoes last Thursday. {They were $6.50!!} This has sparked a love for the color yellow, and now I am contemplating painting my room yellow this summer.

This girl is without her iPod right now, and is going through a music/texting withdrawal. This girl also likes talking in the 3rd person.

My dear, sweet, awesome brother knew I was having a rough day today, and bought me a Hunger Games movie poster, and a chocolate bunny. The poster has been hung, and the chocolate bunny eaten. The world has been put to right.

I found out today that I don't have to take a chemistry test tomorrow. I almost died of joy when I found out.

My fingernails are blue, and that makes me happy.

I believe I have rambled enough. Besides, I really want to go finish reading Black by Ted Dekker. Because it is awesome.

~ Abby



like butterfly wings

image courtesy of weheartit

I was out for a walk earlier this week, listening to my ipod, and enjoying the scent of spring. The butterflies were particularly appreciative of the flowers; they flitted from blossom to blossom, the sunshine illuminating their painted wings. As I watched the butterflies, a thought crossed my mind. Maybe it's silly, but I wanted to share it.

A butterfly's wings and a girl's heart seem to share many similarities; both posses a vibrant beauty, and are full of life. But what happens if a butterfly's wings are handled roughly? Their color will fade, and they may break or tear. If the butterfly is continually mistreated, it's wings may lose pigment completely, and the creature might even lose it's ability to fly.

The same kind of concept applies to girls. A girl who does not guard her heart may {perhaps even unknowingly,} give pieces of her heart away to many boys. The problem with this is that once you give away even a small sliver of your heart away, you never truly get it back. If a girl continues like this, the beauty of her heart will greatly diminish; by the time her wedding day arrives she may not be able to present her husband with a thing of delicate beauty -- only a heart that is a fraction of what it once was.

So is waiting for "the right one" really so old fashioned? Why do teenaged girls feel the need to rush into love? It's because we want to feel wanted. I know I do. But while I watched the butterflies' wings flutter that afternoon, I realized that I'm content to wait for love. Why? The answer is quite simple. I want to present him with an untouched beauty, a heart unmarred by past relationships.

Because really, that's the most precious thing I have to offer.

~ Abby

p.s. Besides, isn't the thought of someone saving himself for a future with you amazing? I think so. :)

those lazy sunday afternoons {a short ramble}

There is just something about Sundays. Maybe it's the getting dressed up and heading to church, or spending the afternoon reading and hanging out with the family. Either way, spending my entire day relaxing and in worship is quite refreshing. It clears my mind from the hectic week, and focuses my heart on what is really important.

I shall now leave my lovely readers with a picture of boots. A little girl at church today was wearing these, and quite frankly, I'm jealous. {Besides, who doesn't love boots?}

Now if you'll excuse me, I have tea to make, and a book that is calling my name.

~ Abby

P.S. I guest posted on Fernweh today. You can check it out here. :)

it's the simple things

I'm learning more and more that the simple things are what make life so beautiful; the small details that we often overlook or take for granted. The smell of coffee in the morning, hearing a little kid giggle, the moment when the sun kisses the horizon goodnight. You know, just the little things.

Things like wearing this owl shirt, because owls make me happy.

The thrill of going to the zoo on a sunny day, and finally getting a good bird picture.

Going to go see a long anticipated movie with awesome people you've known your entire life. {And yes, I was very fangirlish ;)}

And of course, the first few gentle signs of spring.

Have a good weekend,

~ Abby