Tuesday, April 23, 2013

of dating and stuff {a very jumbled sort of rant. kinda.}

I've noticed a trend in the peoples of my generation, and it's rather disturbing. 

No, it's not my peers' propensity towards knee high converse, Justin Bieber, or the incorrect usage of you're/your. It's something much more sinister. 

I'm talking about lack of self-esteem. 

We as teenagers {especially girls} are constantly told by the media how we should act, look, and dress. We're always being pelted with information on how to be "accepted"; a.k.a how to mindlessly obsess over the same cookie cutter music genres, movies, etc. And somehow being this strange kind of 'normal' involves finding true, perfect love -- in high school no less. 

But that's such a lie. Perfect love doesn't exist. And I think we can all agree that the majority of teenage relationships amount to zilch. But if we all recognize that, then why do so many of my peers go looking for it anyway? 

They do it because they need someone to need them; someone to love them unconditionally. But that's not a quality found in a typical high school relationship, which is why most of them crash and burn. This is because most teenagers initiate relationships for all of the wrong reasons. A relationship built on pure feelings {lust, selfishness, and a desire for a particular social status} will not last long. 

And let's face it, many of us date just to date. Or because we have a huge, angsty black hole in us that {we think} can only be filled by the attention from a member of the opposite sex. But that kind of thinking is extremely damaging, and can lead to a series of broken, painful dead end relationships. 

So is there any hope for a teen to actually have a positive relationship? You bet! 

But first you have to fix your self-esteem. I know, easier said than done. But you are of infinite worth, shaped by an amazing Creator -- so really, there's no need to feel insecure! *insert cheesy Bruno Mars song lyric here* 

Lastly, you need to be a friend. Instant attraction is thrilling, but it usually fades as quickly as it comes. And when it does fade, how will you ever relate to that person again if your 'love' for them wasn't built on a solid friendship? 

And I know this all sounds very preachy and boring. But can you imagine all the awkward situations, confusion, and hurt feelings you'll be saving yourself if you don't date needlessly? Especially if your boyfriend/girlfriend/love interest gets together with someone else. o.O

What's that? Psssh, no, I totally cannot relate to the above image. Haha. lol. *whistles innocently* 

~ Abby 

p.s. the above opinions come from the mind of a cynical 17 year old who has had very bad experiences with boys and 'love'. therefore this post may be very biased. therefore you should probably just ignore it. yeah.


ThePixie said...

You make some great points! Though I just have to say I disagree with your statement that perfect love doesn't exist - it does! The love Christ has for us (agape love - the ultimate love) is perfect in every way, because he is.

Self-esteem is a huge issue, and yeah the media has a heavy hand in it. I believe the key is to not place your self-worth and identity in what human loves you but in the fact the God *adores* you, and died for you, and you're his child. If you're born again, you're a child of God! That's *who* you are. When your identity is firmly rooted in Christ, you'll struggle less and less with self-esteem. After all, it's not about *you*, it's about Christ (as John states in John 3:30). And a good question to ask yourself about romantic relationships - "Am I pursuing this for personal gain or can I honestly say that God's backing me on this and this is his will?"

Seems like I really rambled there for a bit. >.>

P.S. I think your post is neither preachy nor boring. :)

Abby said...

I completely agree with you! I admit that I was overlooking Christ's love when I wrote this, and was focused more on human love. His love IS perfect and unconditional, and I appreciate you pointing that out. :)

katilda said...

You make some excellent points! So many women in their 20s and 30s (and beyond) haven't figured out the self esteem factor yet, either...and I'm a firm believer that you can't be in a healthy relationship if you're looking for your personal VALUE in the way someone else loves you. You have to have value on your own, independently, and then you can be in a healthy relationship. End rant. Amen. haha

Abby said...

Agreed. A lot of my friends have very low self-esteems and are in/getting over bad relationships. And it kills me because they're all wonderful, beautiful people who deserve so much more.