2014

Dear 2013,

You are my favorite year so far.  You brought about new friendships and ushered in many opportunities.  You were like a huge awkward roller coaster full of character development and caffeine binges. 

Sweet 2013, you taught me that true friends are always there for each other, no matter the circumstance.  You also showed me that being there for people -- even when they don't think that they need anyone -- is heartbreaking.

2013, you were full of experiences, and I am thankful for each and every one of them.  Black eyes, first kisses, and new jobs alike. 

Dearest 2013, you made me more spontaneous, and more light hearted.  You some how transformed me into some strange girl that randomly buys pet budgies, chops off more than a foot of hair at once, and wears red lipstick.  I am somehow very okay with this. 

Finally 2013, you showed me that flaws are things that are to be embraced, not conquered -- both in myself and other people.  

Thank you for being such a worthwhile year.  I am now ready to begin dating all of my papers like this: 

oh look i used paint! i am artist! 

And to dear 2014: 

come at me bro. 

~ Abby

of ruts, black eyes, and my quarter life existential crisis

yeah, that's me on the left. apparently elbows and eyes do not mix well in the game of soccer.

I haven't felt up to blogging. Honestly, I've felt like my life has been pretty boring lately. Also, I only felt like talking about frogs. And I'm not sure that many people actually like reading about frogs. Poor frogs.

from a play [young frankenstein]  i danced in. apparently my face has had a thing for being discolored lately.

Basically, I've been caught in a rut. I've been struggling with complacency, both in my personal and spiritual lives, respectively -- and that's not cool. I kind of feel like I have plateaued, and that I am stagnant in a very dull, very in between stage of my life. I know that's not the truth, it's just how I feel.

But I realized tonight that life lately has been anything but boring. My last high school soccer season just ended. I just recently sent in my last college application. Last week I was cast as Belle in a ballet adaption of Beauty and the Beast. Life is actually pretty good.

However, I can't help but feel that the end of an era is drawing near -- at least for me, of course. This time next year I will have moved -- possibly to a different state -- and be in the process of settling into a whole new environment. I will not be seeing my high school friends very often. I will not be attending the same church. I will not be holding the same job.

Those prospects are both exhilarating and terrifying.

a few of my photogenic siblings and I.

From here on out, I am going to be more thankful for where I am. I'm going to do my best to cherish what little time I have left here at home, and I'll be trying not to rush things. I am most definitely not going to let myself be lulled, yet again, into ungratefulness. 

But it is such an easy trap to fall into.

~ Abby

#adulthood

*WARNING: TERRIBLE IPHONE PICTURES AHEAD. READER DISCRETION ADVISED.*

I turned eighteen a little over a month ago, which apparently means that I am an adult. Scary, no? 

Anyway, June and July have kind of been a huge adjusting time for me. My parents sort of ceased parenting me after my birthday. It's really weird. I have all the freedom in the world now, but I also have to do my own dishes/laundry/cooking, pay my own way {yikes, life is expensive,} and fill my own gas tank. I know that those things don't even compare to the responsibilities that I'll have when I'm living on my own, but it's definitely been an eye opener. It's also made me appreciate how much my parents have done for me over the past eighteen years. 

All seriousness aside, my summer has been filled with many a major milestone. Feast your eyes: 

Milestone 1: I am no longer the lightest shade of foundation in the world. Or at least in Target. 

That's right folks. I've moved up from shade 001 to shade 003. Will Abby ever make it to shade 004? Only time will tell. Also, bronzer. Bronzer may tell too. 

Milestone 2: I bought a lottery ticket. 

Photographic proof.  My good friend Erica and I were feeling particularly bad one day, so we went and gambled with cute little cows.  I won a whole dollar, but I will not be turning it in to receive my money.  I'm planning on framing my only token of teenage wildness, and preserving it for posterity. 

Milestone 3: I discovered the essence of Ernest Hemingway. In Hobby Lobby. 

So apparently you can buy candles that smell like classic authors. {If you're curious, Ernest supposedly smelled like clementines and dove soap -- I was disappointed. I was expecting gunpowder or something awesome like that for the man that wrote A Farewell to Arms.}But seeing this made me wonder what other word ninja's candles would be... What would C.S. Lewis smell like? Zoo exhibits and turkish delight? What about F. Scott Fitzgerald? Sea breeze and daisies? And who knows what scents some modern day authors would possess... I mean c'mon, can you imagine Stephanie Meyers'? I can, and it's not a candle I'd want to have in my house. 

Milestone 4: I've finally learned about time management, and some other stuff. 

It's all good and fine to be busy and responsible, but I've discovered that I'm a lot more pleasant to be around when I've had some quiet time. I'm learning that even though there might be errands to run, homework to do, and meetings to attend, it's okay to set aside thirty minutes a day to relax. Working hard and doing your best is satisfying and rewarding, but sometimes it's necessary for sanity's sake to slow down some. 

I'm also kind of learning that I'm not some horribly inadequate mess up. I'm beginning to find my voice, and other cheesy things like that. I'm kind of learning to really like myself. And it's kind of really awesome feeling. 

Milestone 5: I saw a Pixar movie back to back. 

via

It was Despicable Me 2, in 3D. I regret nothing. #yayformaturity

Now where can I get myself one of those dandy chip hats? 

~ Abby

P.S. I actually wrote this at 1 in the morning, while extremely sleep deprived. I apologize in advance for any grammatical errors, hard to follow thinking, and misspelled words. Actually, I basically apologize for this entire post. 

summer rambliness + picture things

“And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer.” 
― F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

This summer, thus far, has been spectacular. 

I actually managed to secure a job, and test into a college level math class.  It's weird, getting up and working eight hours a day/attending night classes twice a week has been exhausting, but it's taught me to value free time.  Also, coupons for free gas/food.  Also, anything free in general.

But in between all of that has been great.  Vacation happened, as well as my studio's summer showcase.  Movie premieres, coffee dates, and sleepovers have occurred.  And I've basically lived in cutoffs/sundresses when I'm not working. 

And on a side note, my family managed to order almost $40 worth of food at Taco Bell last Sunday.  I didn't even know that was humanly possible.  #ipromisewerenotobese #bigfamilyprobs #WHATDIDWEORDER

photographic proof. it really happened people. srsly. 

On a completely unrelated note, I finally edited all of the pictures I took during vacation.  It took me about three weeks, but hey; it's the journey, not the destination.  {Or something philosophical like that.} 

Note: I am not a photographer, nor do I think I am. I just like shooting things with my cannon. *ba dum tshh*

Anywho, if things get quiet around here this summer, it's because I'm out doing things. Like reading. And sleeping. And hopefully getting a tan. {Hey, a girl can always dream.} 

~ Abby

    

why i hate seventeen magazine {a rant}

Friend: "Hey, did you see that article about Ed Sheeran in Seventeen? He's your favorite singer, right?"

Me: "Yes he is. But I haven't read the article... I've never actually even opened an issue of Seventeen before."

Friend: "WHAT?! You haven't?! Girl, you need to pick up a copy sometime -- you'd love it."

Me: "...All right?"

Before the above conversation took place, I had never even thought about reading a teen magazine. I had zero interest in them. But last week I went against my better judgement and picked up two back issues at the library -- I mean, I'm only going to be seventeen for a few more weeks, right? Reading this magazine is like a rite of passage or something, and it was one I was determined to experience.

I opened the magazine with low expectations,  but what I saw surpassed them -- and not in a good way.

There were makeup and hair tips, shallow dating articles, and ads for overpriced products. No surprise there. But what did surprise me was how close it teetered over the edge of vulgarity at times. One article gave advice on "hooking up" and another smaller one praised the book 50 Shades of Grey. And I calculated that the average price of the products they were advertising was $65. What the what?!

Granted, there was some good material; mostly about loving your body type, etc. But the trashiness of the remainder of the content completely obliterated anything positive. Seventeen, do you really think that some self-conscious 14 year old is going to listen to you tell her that she's beautiful just way she is when your cover model looks like this:

Holy crap, what teenager naturally looks like this? Oh wait, NONE OF THEM. 

Because I'm pretty sure that she won't. 

After I was done being thoroughly disgusted, I did a little research on the history of the magazine. What I found shocked me: the magazine was actually originally started to improve the minds of young women. {Fancy that!} Issues included knitting patterns, literature {fun fact: Sylvia Plath was first published in Seventeen in the 1950's,}and lessons on modern art. They even had whole issues dedicated to encouraging young women to support the war effort during WWII. Again, what the what?!

The cover of the June 1950 issue. {It's a letter encouraging American girls to buy war bonds to "hasten the victory".} 

I think I like the original version of Seventeen better. 

And I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only one. 

~ Abby

Sources: 

Two back issues of Seventeen {February 2013 + March/April 2013}

http://www.seventeen.com/fun/articles/65th-anniversary-cover-archive#slide-3

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seventeen_(magazine)

p.s. Seventeen, I understand that your target audience is empty headed high school girls. But maybe putting in some content that is actually thought stimulating and doesn't immediately reduce the reader's brain to a quivering puddle of mush wouldn't be a bad thing. Seriously though, a lot of us don't give a carrot stick about who Ashley Greene is dating, or whatever that one article was about. I really can't remember, because it wasn't an engaging topic. #sorrynotsorry #offensiverunonsentence 

  

books on books on books

I think I may have a problem.

I currently have ten books checked out at the library, and three on hold. That doesn't count the books I bought a couple of weeks ago at Barnes and Noble. Yeah, it's pretty bad. #imabookwormandiknowit

I think the reason for my book bingeing is the overall lack of literary stimulation I experienced throughout the school year. {dance + church + soccer + moutains of homework = no time for reading.} But now that I've had to spend less time memorizing Spanish verb conjugations and equations, I've had more time to indulge in a little fiction here, a little non fiction there.

But when your librarian knows what car you drive, you know you might have an issue.

via

My life accurately depicted in a meme. Also, double points for the HP glasses and scarf. 

What have you been reading lately? 

~ Abby

so much black and white + 100th post

I don't know what has happened to me; I've always been a color kind of gal. But lately, -- and by lately I mean the past six months -- I have been on a black and white kick. And though I'm loving it, I'm showing color in 4-H this year, so I have a mountain of black and white photos that I don't know what to do with. {Not to mention that these are all taken with my phone -- my SLR is currently out of commission. But hey, when life gives you Apples you take slightly blurry/grainy pictures and try to make the most of it.} 

Which do you prefer? Black and white, or color? 

~ Abby

p.s. i just now noticed that all of these are of children. is that weird? i guess i have a lot of random kids running around in my life. so i photograph them. okay.

p.p.s. blogger tells me that this is my 100th post, apparently. geez louise, i need to get a hobby. also i am embarassed of about 95 of my blogs.  I REGRET NOTHING!!!

p.p.p.s if you follow me on flickr, you've probably already seen these. sorry folks. 

le love list

:: Red Hair ::

It's no secret that I've always been jealous of naturally auburn haired ladies. In fact, I remember plotting to dye my hair red when I was four years old, so I could be Ariel in The Little Mermaid. {I never could figure out how to grow a fishtail though -- I'm still trying to work that out.} So when my mom gave me permission to use a temporary hair dye, I immediately took her up on it.

At first the dye turned my hair more Katy Perry purple and less Emma Stone red. *cue freaking out* But it's faded some, and I'm beginning to like it a bit.

:: Reeses McFlurries ::

I've gotten into the horrible habit of picking one of these up with friends after dance classes and Wednesday night small group. I know, it's bad. But they're so delicious. And cheap. And addictive. {I am 99% sure that McDonalds ice cream has the same addiction inducing properties as meth. I am also pretty sure that this country's obesity rate agrees with me.}

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:: Escape from Camp 14 :: 

This book blows my mind. {All though I might be a bit biased, considering that I am currently obsessed with North Korea.}  It's an extremely fast paced, eye opening, engaging read, and I highly recommend it. 

:: Les Mis :: 

I saw it for the first time about a month ago -- and I've since seen it about 5 times. *blushes* Seriously, it's so brilliant; the acting, the music, the everything. Anne Hathaway killed it... I had no idea that she could sing and act so genuinely. Also she is an ugly crier, and that makes her so much more endearing.  Also, Marius's face. Also, this gif: 

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Thank you Tumblr. You inspire me daily. 

~ Abby

p.s. you can now subscribe to my blog via email! so yeah... that's all. 

can we talk about north korea for a minute? {serious tuesday}

via

EDIT: I actually wrote this over a week ago, and forgot to post. Oopsies. But I'm totes posting it now cause YOLO

I know that North Korea is sort of old hat to some, now that The Boston Marathon incident happened and Justin Beiber visited the Anne Frank House. And to be quite honest, this post is simply the result of ruminating on several melodramatic/snarky comments I've heard from some of my peers over the past few weeks. {I've everything from "OMG when are the Koreans invading" to "ehhhh, let's just nuke them all and get it over with".}

And on a side note, it is totally irrelevant that I am procrastinating big time by writing this. {My first college level final? In 6 hours you say? Pssh, details, details.} 

Anywho, I suppose it's best to start at the beginning. Like how Kim Jong-un is only 29, and struggling to establish his command over North Korea. And how does a young, inexperienced leader prove himself to his country? By threatening to bomb South Korea, as well as the world's largest superpower {America} of course. Duh. 

But in reality, it's most likely just talk. North Korea is teeny compared to the U.S.; we have the military power to completely wipe NK out, and Kim Jong-un knows that -- hopefully. That being said, NK still is a threat since it's such an unstable country, and possesses nuclear weapons. NK is like a child that owns a bazooka. A very young, violent, and angry child. 

 So why don't we just go ahead and bomb them? Wouldn't nipping the problem in the proverbial bud be easier than bothering to put an anti missile base Guam, and moving U.S. destroyers to the western Pacific to monitor missile activity? Well yes, it would.

 But it's easy for us Americans -- who are glued to our Apple products and big macs -- to forget that most of the North Korean population is starving, and well below what we would consider the poverty line. {It's so bad, that approximately 2,500,000 North Korean citizens have died from starvation. Seriously, how is this a thing.}

Currently 200,000 North Koreans have been declared "an enemy of the state" and are being kept in concentration camps. It should be noted that if you are declared an enemy of the state, your ENTIRE FAMILY is also thrown into a Holocaust type concentration camp. And that punishment carries over for THREE GENERATIONS. That means that your children and your children's children grow up in these horrible places, and there's a 25% chance that they won't survive. There are people that were born in and will die in the same camp, because their grandparents sympathized with South Korea during the Korean War. How incredibly insane and horrifying is that?

So is North Korea going to nuke the U.S.? It's unlikely. Should we just go ahead and obliterate NK anyway? Heck no. North Korea is, in simple terms, a nation at the mercy of a corrupt, pig headed government. We should, in my opinion, be trying to help the NK citizens -- not demonizing them.

This post was brought to you by a plethora of ignorant comments that ticked Abby off. Thank you for reading.

~ Abby

Sources {check 'em out, they're pretty cool}:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRTjHJ93UYg
http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=50136263n
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wm-tYxAwVO0
http://freekorea.us/camps/
http://www.businessinsider.com/life-in-north-korea-prison-camp-horror-kim-jong-un-2013-3?op=1

an open letter to coffee

via

Dear Coffee, 

             I want you to know that I think you're pretty spectacular. You are delightful hot, chilled, or iced; with cream and sugar, or just plain black. You always seem to be there for me in times of need -- whether that's at 7 a.m. while I'm feeding the animals, or at midnight while I'm cramming for finals. I don't know what I'd do without you. Probably something stupid, like drive all of the way to Spanish class, only to to discover that I left my notes for the oral final at home. {Which has totally never happened to me. Wat.} 

           I know that my love for you is simply a chemical reaction. But even though it's all in my head, I still need you and your sweet, energizing nectar in my life. 

          So dearest Coffee, what say you? Care to stay for a while? 

                                                                                               With much love, 

                                                                                                               Abigail

p.s. if you like sci-ency stuff, you should totes check this out.   thank you Hank Green for proving that i can stop drinking coffee whenever i want. that's right, i am not addicted. at all. i just like the taste and whatnot. *ahem*

of dating and stuff {a very jumbled sort of rant. kinda.}

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I've noticed a trend in the peoples of my generation, and it's rather disturbing. 

No, it's not my peers' propensity towards knee high converse, Justin Bieber, or the incorrect usage of you're/your. It's something much more sinister. 

I'm talking about lack of self-esteem. 

We as teenagers {especially girls} are constantly told by the media how we should act, look, and dress. We're always being pelted with information on how to be "accepted"; a.k.a how to mindlessly obsess over the same cookie cutter music genres, movies, etc. And somehow being this strange kind of 'normal' involves finding true, perfect love -- in high school no less. 

But that's such a lie. Perfect love doesn't exist. And I think we can all agree that the majority of teenage relationships amount to zilch. But if we all recognize that, then why do so many of my peers go looking for it anyway? 

They do it because they need someone to need them; someone to love them unconditionally. But that's not a quality found in a typical high school relationship, which is why most of them crash and burn. This is because most teenagers initiate relationships for all of the wrong reasons. A relationship built on pure feelings {lust, selfishness, and a desire for a particular social status} will not last long. 

And let's face it, many of us date just to date. Or because we have a huge, angsty black hole in us that {we think} can only be filled by the attention from a member of the opposite sex. But that kind of thinking is extremely damaging, and can lead to a series of broken, painful dead end relationships. 

So is there any hope for a teen to actually have a positive relationship? You bet! 

But first you have to fix your self-esteem. I know, easier said than done. But you are of infinite worth, shaped by an amazing Creator -- so really, there's no need to feel insecure! *insert cheesy Bruno Mars song lyric here* 

Lastly, you need to be a friend. Instant attraction is thrilling, but it usually fades as quickly as it comes. And when it does fade, how will you ever relate to that person again if your 'love' for them wasn't built on a solid friendship? 

And I know this all sounds very preachy and boring. But can you imagine all the awkward situations, confusion, and hurt feelings you'll be saving yourself if you don't date needlessly? Especially if your boyfriend/girlfriend/love interest gets together with someone else. o.O

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What's that? Psssh, no, I totally cannot relate to the above image. Haha. lol. *whistles innocently* 

~ Abby 

p.s. the above opinions come from the mind of a cynical 17 year old who has had very bad experiences with boys and 'love'. therefore this post may be very biased. therefore you should probably just ignore it. yeah.

of summer and cat fur

Yesterday was one of the first truly warm days of the year. To celebrate, my little sister and I went to a little small town book store; one that smells like sunshine and old books. I bought an SAT study guide, and she found a treasure trove of old Nancy Drew mysteries. The picturesque-ness of the moment was only *slightly* ruined when I opened a box of old records, and a cloud of cat fur flew out. Which subsequently caused only a *slightly* embarrassing sneezing fit, as well as our premature departure from the store. #catsareevil

To redeem the situation, we bought lemonades and found a nearby bench to sit on. We sat and smelled the freshly cut grass, counted passing pickup trucks (18,) and watched cute old couples walk their dogs. And I didn't think about my upcoming finals even once.

okay so maybe i did once but then i watched the new Catching Fire trailer to forget my troubles #yolo

How was your weekend?

~ Abby

monday odium: the last form of acceptable discrimination

via. 

"Ugh. Tomorrow is Monday." 

"Weekends should be three days long. Going straight from Sunday right into Monday is just ungodly." 

"If Lady Gaga and Ronald McDonald had a love child, I'm pretty sure that it's name would be Monday." 

These may or may not all be things that have come out of my mouth at some point. I used to hate Mondays. They were the Green Goblin to my Spiderman. The Mr. Wickham to my Lizzie Bennet. The toothpaste to my orange juice. In a nutshell, I hated them in all of their early morning and school work-bringing glory. 

But my opinions have somewhat shifted recently. 

My ill feelings toward the beginning of the work week began to change when I stumbled upon this gem: 

                                                                                      

"This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. "

                                                                                  -- Psalm 118:24 

And I just so happened to read it on a particularly bad Monday morning, when I was in a particularly bad mood. Ouch. That's pretty convicting. 

But really now, let's think about this; today is a day that the LORD has made. Like, he made it. Which in it of itself is pretty darn impressive. I can't make a perfectly round circle, let alone an entire day. So it's really quite selfish and ungrateful of me to not rejoice and be glad in it, simply because I don't feel like "getting back into the swing of things". What really needs to change is my attitude. 

So with that perspective in mind, I'm starting down the long hard road of no-more-Monday-bashing. And so far, it's going pretty well. I'm settled in with some coffee, the Train station on iHeartRadio, and my Spanish homework. Plus, I've only checked Tumblr ONCE so far today. {Now if that isn't productivity, I don't what is.} 

My name is Abby, and I've been Monday Hatred free for two weeks. 

And on a side note, I should totally start a support group for this. I could call it "The Monday Lovers" -- TML for short. Yes? No? Maybe? 

Okay, perhaps not.

~ Abby 

little things

Sometimes, you just have to drop what you're doing, cancel plans, and just play video games with your three-year-old brother.

At times, it's refreshing to have a heart to heart with a girlfriend into the wee hours of the morning, while painting until your fingers are stiff from the acrylic.

Occasionally, it's okay to just stop and appreciate the way some of your favorite books just seem to belong to one another.

Frequently, you just need to write with a pen + paper, just to connect emotionally with your piece. (For me, physically writing down something is much more engaging than typing on the computer.)

Once in a while, you need to go shopping for the perfect Easter dress with friends -- and then come back for it later when you have money. ;)

Every now and then, you just have to stop and enjoy the ordinary. Because such moments -- the little things, if you will -- not only make up life, but make it worth living.

~ Abby

candid shots + a really awesome quote

"Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in the way they are." 

- Markus Zusak

This girl is beautiful. 

Not only in looks, {but really now, isn't she gorgeous?} but in the way she is. 

 I'm really beginning to appreciate a side of photography that is still very new to me -- candid shots. There's something just really beautiful about catching a bit of life, and freezing it. And candids/snapshots capture a realness and honesty that posed self portraits just can't convey. 

And that my friends, is beautiful. 

~ Abby

come inside for a little homemade tea // confessions

via my flickr stream 

Ed Sheeran is my favorite. And I think he should be everyone's favorite. For real. I mean, not only is he an amazing musician, he wears sweatshirts daily. And he's funny. And he's ginger. What's not to like? 

Speaking of music, I have the most bipolar taste in it ever. Some of my very favorite artists include Ingrid Michaelson, Imagine Dragons, fun., and stuff from the 40's and 60's. But I also have a soft spot for One Direction. I know. One Direction. *covers face in shame*

I use winky faces too often. ;)

I have a weird sense of style. There's one side of me that really likes jeans and sweaters, and another {possibly bigger} side of me that has a great fondness for sweats and hoodies. That being said, I also really like dresses, heels, and red lips. {And someday, when I'm living in N.Y.C. and working as a big time artistic director, I will wear such things.}

#ilikeusinghashtags #evenwhenimnotontwitter #sorrynotsorry

My favorite color is scarlet. It used to be blue, but then I saw the light. It is such a bold, vibrant, fearless color. I like it lots. 

I check out too many books. Right now I have Ender's Game, Les Mis, Romeo and Juliet, The Great Gatsby, The Kill Order, Insurgent, and Paper Towns. And did I mention that Les Mis alone is over 1,500 pages? I know, it's bad. 

I have conversations like this a lot more than I'd like to admit. 

I struggle with not feeling 'good enough'. I think it's partly because I'm an oldest child, and I feel a lot of pressure to be perfect. But I'm beginning to realize that you can't be amazing at everything or liked by everyone, and that's okay. Perfection is impossible, and it's unhealthy to expect that from yourself. 

Because the above has finally dawned on me, I enjoy doing things a lot more. Like painting, photography, scrapbooking, and soccer. I'm not really talented at any of those things, but I do them any way because I like to. Even if I look like a fool at times.  

Also, I eat chocolate too much. Just throwing that out there. :)

Good night and joy be with you all, 

~ Abby

p.s. if you caught both references to ed sheeran in this post, then you my friend, are an awesome person. also, someone should give you a cookie. ;)