of ruts, black eyes, and my quarter life existential crisis

yeah, that's me on the left. apparently elbows and eyes do not mix well in the game of soccer.

I haven't felt up to blogging. Honestly, I've felt like my life has been pretty boring lately. Also, I only felt like talking about frogs. And I'm not sure that many people actually like reading about frogs. Poor frogs.

from a play [young frankenstein]  i danced in. apparently my face has had a thing for being discolored lately.

Basically, I've been caught in a rut. I've been struggling with complacency, both in my personal and spiritual lives, respectively -- and that's not cool. I kind of feel like I have plateaued, and that I am stagnant in a very dull, very in between stage of my life. I know that's not the truth, it's just how I feel.

But I realized tonight that life lately has been anything but boring. My last high school soccer season just ended. I just recently sent in my last college application. Last week I was cast as Belle in a ballet adaption of Beauty and the Beast. Life is actually pretty good.

However, I can't help but feel that the end of an era is drawing near -- at least for me, of course. This time next year I will have moved -- possibly to a different state -- and be in the process of settling into a whole new environment. I will not be seeing my high school friends very often. I will not be attending the same church. I will not be holding the same job.

Those prospects are both exhilarating and terrifying.

a few of my photogenic siblings and I.

From here on out, I am going to be more thankful for where I am. I'm going to do my best to cherish what little time I have left here at home, and I'll be trying not to rush things. I am most definitely not going to let myself be lulled, yet again, into ungratefulness. 

But it is such an easy trap to fall into.

~ Abby

come inside for a little homemade tea // confessions

via my flickr stream 

Ed Sheeran is my favorite. And I think he should be everyone's favorite. For real. I mean, not only is he an amazing musician, he wears sweatshirts daily. And he's funny. And he's ginger. What's not to like? 

Speaking of music, I have the most bipolar taste in it ever. Some of my very favorite artists include Ingrid Michaelson, Imagine Dragons, fun., and stuff from the 40's and 60's. But I also have a soft spot for One Direction. I know. One Direction. *covers face in shame*

I use winky faces too often. ;)

I have a weird sense of style. There's one side of me that really likes jeans and sweaters, and another {possibly bigger} side of me that has a great fondness for sweats and hoodies. That being said, I also really like dresses, heels, and red lips. {And someday, when I'm living in N.Y.C. and working as a big time artistic director, I will wear such things.}

#ilikeusinghashtags #evenwhenimnotontwitter #sorrynotsorry

My favorite color is scarlet. It used to be blue, but then I saw the light. It is such a bold, vibrant, fearless color. I like it lots. 

I check out too many books. Right now I have Ender's Game, Les Mis, Romeo and Juliet, The Great Gatsby, The Kill Order, Insurgent, and Paper Towns. And did I mention that Les Mis alone is over 1,500 pages? I know, it's bad. 

I have conversations like this a lot more than I'd like to admit. 

I struggle with not feeling 'good enough'. I think it's partly because I'm an oldest child, and I feel a lot of pressure to be perfect. But I'm beginning to realize that you can't be amazing at everything or liked by everyone, and that's okay. Perfection is impossible, and it's unhealthy to expect that from yourself. 

Because the above has finally dawned on me, I enjoy doing things a lot more. Like painting, photography, scrapbooking, and soccer. I'm not really talented at any of those things, but I do them any way because I like to. Even if I look like a fool at times.  

Also, I eat chocolate too much. Just throwing that out there. :)

Good night and joy be with you all, 

~ Abby

p.s. if you caught both references to ed sheeran in this post, then you my friend, are an awesome person. also, someone should give you a cookie. ;)