september challenge + a LONG ramble

 

via

 

I have been attacked by the creativity monster.

 

I think it began at the end of the last school year. The monsterous beast reared it's ugly head during finals week, and sucked me into it's treacherous clutches. I was sleep deprived, irritable, and pretty much running on straight coffee. (Apparently it's a side effect of taking enough classes to equal almost two full years of highschool in one.) Throw in some relationship issues, and a mounting pressure to live up to some unrealistic standards, and you had one stressed out teen. Writing of any sort, let alone blogging, was not a priority.

 

Then the summer came, and the monster tightened it's fatal grip. I was under summer's sleepy spell, and I had zero motivation to do anything productive whatsoever. If it wasn't  necessary, and wasn't a 4-H project, it mouldered untouched, in some dark corner somewhere. (Not something I'm proud of, but I'm trying to be honest here.)

 

Months passed, and I did not write anything of signifigance.

 

Not a journal entry, not a short story, not a blog post.

 

Don't get me wrong, I definitely wrote; just not anything worth reading. What little I accomplished was done so half heartedly, and was therefore uninteresting. And it just wasn't my writing voice that was lacking enthusiasm; I was apethetic, and having a hard time finding the motivation to do things that I normally really enjoyed -- things like dancing, photography, etc.

 

Then I had a very important (internal) conversation with myself. It went a little something like this:

 

"Self, you need to get it together. You need to roundhouse kick that creativity killing, motivation sucking monster in the face, and show it who's boss. What are you waiting for?! Pick up your pencil, your camera, your jazz shoes. Goest thou forth and conquer!!!"

 

And what did I say back to this wise, strongly opinionated, and somewhat violent version of myself?

 

"Okay."

 

Profound, I know. But it brings me to my point: you are only as (un)productive or (un)sucessful as you allow yourself to be.

 

"The secret to getting ahead, is getting started."

-- Mark Twain

 

So let's get started with the challenge, shall we?

 

September Challenge (a.k.a The I Want My Creativity Back Plan):

 

1) Spend time with The Creator each morning

 

2) Do not overlook the beauty of the ordinary

 

3) Take each day at a time

 

4) Give up the internet for a week

 

As of midnight tonight, I will begin number four. I'm not on the internet a ton, but it can be a major distraction. So for me personally, I will not be on blogger, twitter, tumblr, or any social networking at all until next Wednesday. (For my friends who read this, I will also not be responding to texts.) I am hoping that this will give me extra time to spend doing productive things, and refreshing to boot.

 

Until next week,

 

~ Abby

 

p.s. I really really hope that no one thinks I am crazy after reading this post. I promise, I am at least somewhat sane.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



spring mill

On Sunday, my family went on a short road trip. Our first stop: Spring Mill State Park. It was gorgeous. The lighting, the old buildings... Everything. It also helped that there were butterflies everywhere; something that was unexpected, but definitely not unwelcome.

And is it weird that I fell in love with the windows there? Yes, the windows. They were so old and beautiful; they softened the bright sunlight perfectly, making it ideal for taking pictures.

After visiting the park, we stopped at a very high end historical hotel. It was huge, and gorgeous, and spectacular. The first words out of my mouth when we walked in were "Wow! So much fancy!" Needless to say, the hotel staff were not particularly appreciative of my eloquent comments, nor my clicking SLR, or scuffed up chucks for that matter. 

The day ended on a sweet note, with shrimp and awkward, young waiters.

Sometimes it's good to get away. :)

~ Abby



where did summer go?

Warning: This post contains grainy pictures, and incomplete thoughts. Reader discretion is advised.

:hanging out with dear, dear friends::state fair and all of it's craziness (second in the state baby!)::frappe break during photography judging with some amazing girls::Kevin the Lemon, the employee of the month at the junior leader's stand, and consequently, the real star of the 4-H fair::sno cone runs with friends::new hair, because sometimes you just need a change::shopping with little sisters::new soccer cleats::

Where has this summer gone? Seriously. I start school in nine days, and it's almost surreal. Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely looking forward to the new school year, but I'm not quite ready to let go of this summer.

But on the other hand, I am SO excited for fall. For one thing, dance starts back up again. Oh my goodness, I have missed it so incredibly much. In fact, I'm so excited that I may spontaneously combust the moment I walk through the studio doors. But I digress.

And I guess summer isn't completely over yet; there are still sleepovers to be had, and King's Island passes to be used. Still, August is passing quickly, and it's taking the last few freedom - filled days with it.

How's your summer been?

~ Abby



learning, growing, changing.

Photo credit: My friend Jana. Expression courtesy of the broken floorboards I thought I was about to fall through. ;)

I am learning a lot. I mean, a lot.

This past year, (especially this summer,) has been a huge growing period for me. I have learned so very much about relationships, myself, and just life in general. I have found that people never really stay the same -- we are always learning, growing, changing. I look back on myself even a month or two ago, and I am almost shocked at my naivete.

I feel like I've experienced so much, well, life -- especially this summer. I know, I know, I am only seventeen years old, practically a baby. But I feel like every single day has brought about a new experience, which in turn develops and grows my character. I am nowhere near the person I was at sixteen, and I am significantly different from who I was even two months ago.

I am so thankful for this though. I am wiser, I am stronger, I am more confident. I am more me.

I have had my heart broken, then put back together. I have said goodbye to one amazing friend, and hello to a new one. New experiences and opportunities are arising everywhere I look. Life for me is changing, and almost faster than I can keep up with it.

Now, I hope this doesn't sound narcissistic. I am still an immature, silly teenager. I'm sure that I'll look back on this post a year from now, and practically roll my eyes at the irony of it all. God still has an incredibly long way to go when it comes to refining my 'rough spots'.

But really, this year has been amazing, and I cannot wait to see what the next year holds.

So junior year, come at me bro.

~ Abby

p.s. Sorry for the long blogging break! I promise though, I have a lot of new stuff planned, so keep checking back. :) 

a girl called amy

{photo via weheartit}

I met someone the other day. Someone who caused me to really stop and think about a few things.

No, it wasn’t a boy. Nor was it some strange fortune teller that bestowed age old wisdom upon me.

It was a little girl. Her name was Amy.

She was bouncy and happy and innocent. {Think Ramona Quimby people.}  She plopped herself down next to me, a complete and total stranger, and told me that I had “pretty hair.” I asked her what her name was, and after she introduced herself, she asked me to push her on a swing. {Did I mention that we were at a park?} After she was done swinging, she thanked me, and then raced off.

When she left with her grandparents about two hours later, she skipped over to me, and said goodbye.

“What’s your name again?” She asked, a quizzical look spreading across her face.

“Abigail.” I replied.

“Oh, I like it. It’s pretty.”

“Thank you, your name is very pretty too.”

And with that, she took her grandpa’s hand, swinging it as she walked with him to the car.

As she left, I was almost in awe of how innocent she was. Here was a six-ish girl, who’s biggest concern in life was probably when she’d lose her first tooth. She was not self-conscious, and felt comfortable enough to sit by a strange teenager, and compliment said teen on her hair.

I shudder when I think of what she’ll be going through in ten years from now. She’ll no longer be the same naive, sweet little girl. She will either become a part of, or have to navigate through all the drama crap that comes with high school. She’ll be faced with the pressure to have a boyfriend, and submerged in a society that is constantly telling her that she is not good enough.

And it’s likely that most of her female peers will be “confirming” the lies that society will be telling her:

You’re not pretty enough. You’re fat. Who could ever like you?

Not that they will say such things directly to her, necessarily. After all, that’s not how the ‘mean girls’ work, now is it? No, of course not. After all, destroying a girl’s self-esteem is harder when looking her in the eye, and generally not considered socially acceptable. It’s  sneakily done behind the girl’s back -- through gossip, exclusion, and slander. A little dig here, a little dig there.

Now don’t get me wrong, I know many, many girls who are not in any way ‘catty.’ In fact, I have the privilege to know many ‘drama free,’ mature, and thoughtful girls.

But that doesn’t seem to erase the fact that we {girls} seem to have a problem. Why can we be so quick to tear each other down? Are we so insecure and consumed with jealousy that we must build ourselves up by destroying someone else? Is it the drive for male attention? Do we really envy what other girls have that much?

Honestly, I’m not sure. It’s probably a combined force of both reasons, plus many others. But does that justify our actions? No, of course not.

Now, I wish that this wasn’t the case. I wish that our gender didn’t feel the need for a proverbial ‘pecking order,’ and I wish that there would cease to be competition between everyone. Unfortunately though, that is not possible. As one of my favorite books so elegantly puts it; “the world is not a wish granting factory.” We don’t always get what we want. In fact, more often than not, we don’t. Life isn’t fair.

But what do you do if you find yourself the victim of cattiness? Ready for some amazing, life-changing advice? {I hope you sense the sarcasm. :P} Simply be yourself. Shrug it off, be confident, and go about your business. I know it might hurt now, but it’s probably not worth retaliating. And trust me, responding with kindness is much more effective. Just keep calm and carry on.

And if you are the ‘mean girl’ then please take this to heart: You. Are. Beautiful. You have no reason to be jealous of or feel threatened by any other girl. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Remember Amy? Let’s try to keep her sweet and innocent for as long as possible.

~ Abby

the epic tale of the three peacocks

It all started innocently, with one small purchase on a Saturday night. I bought a pair of peacock earrings, thinking that they were cute and unique. {Note to future husband: I really like avian themed jewelry, apparently.} The more I looked at them, the more I liked them. So of course, I did what any girl would (probably) do: I wore them the next day.

{Note to self: backless, dangly earrings do not hold up well when worn through countless v-ball games and water fights at open houses.}

Yep, I lost one.

I paid *insert large amount for a poor teenager here* dollars on them, and they didn't even last 24 hours.

I was disappointed, to say the least.

But then the sun shone, and my lovely mom and sister surprised me with another pair today. I was very shocked, especially considering how far out they had to drive to pick them up. Just the fact that they thought of me meant way more than the actual earrings.

As I began to write this, I had a very clever, thought provoking way to wrap this post up. But it has left me, unfortunately. So I guess while this {somewhat pointless} little story may not be epic, it does explain why I have three peacocks.

Do you enjoy poultry themed adornments?

~ Abby



it's amazing...

What a little editing can do. :)

Before

After

These photographs are of my lovely friend Jana. Isn't she gorgeous? {And trust me, she's got that inner beauty thing going on as well.} It's been amazing getting to know her better during this past school year, and I greatly cherish her friendship. But I have to admit, it kind of scares me to think about the amount of frappes we consumed, and the amount of pictures we took together this year... It's quite terrifying, actually. :)

Anywho, I'm entering these photos in a photography contest Savannah Jean over at Fixed Focus Photography is hosting. It's a great contest, and any of you picture lovers should really go and check it out.

And Jana, it's been a joy getting to know you. I'm really glad that we started talking at photography judging two years ago.

Cameras make the world go 'round,

~ Abby



of writing and obnoxiously colored pants {aka my summer so far}

This summer has been great this far. Earlier this week I went on a small shopping trip, and actually bought a bright red pair of pants. And a pair of cobalt blue ones. Yes, I have worn them out in public, but only to Walmart so far. {And let's face it, the people at Walmart aren't particularly known for their amazing fashion choices either, so I suppose I blended in.}But rest assured, the pants shall be worn proudly throughout this summer -- any weird looks I get will simply be a bonus. :P





One of my best friends got her license recently. So naturally I wrote her a cheesy congratulations-you-got-your-license-celebratory-poem, because that's what best friends do, right? Of course it is. The poem was about roses, ghosts, bacon, and a lot of other poetic stuff. It was a work of literary genius, if I do say so myself.

And speaking of writing, I actually finished my first short story this week. This past school year gave me a lot of opportunities to develop my writing style, and I've decided to continue writing creatively throughout this summer. I also have an ideas for a few other stories, one of which I may or may not attempt to turn into a novel. I suppose that remains to be seen.

I'm really enjoying this "beginning" of the summer. Being able to stay up until three or four in the morning,  {without having to worry about school the next day,} has been amazing. Spontaneous plans with friends are suddenly possible, instead of everyone having to pass because of homework. It's been quite lovely.

How's your beginning of summer going so far?

~ Abby



the many sides of us

              

  This is a picture of my brother and I at King’s Island. This doesn’t actually have anything to do with what you’re about to read, but picture-less blog posts scare me. :P

I sat there on the cool metal bench, enjoying a short break from the sweltering August heat. I was at State Fair, and I was waiting for my name to be called for the next section of the competition. The supervisors had assigned us seats according to our skill level, which meant you (most likely) couldn’t sit with your friends. I ended up sitting next to a thin blond girl with glasses. She seemed quiet, and made no effort to begin a conversation.

I however, like to talk. (If you know me, you are probably very well aware of this.) So I made some lame comment about how hot it was. She nodded her agreement, and shot me a shy smile. I asked her what her name was, and how many years she had been competing; she said that her name was Hannah, and this was her first. Before long, she and I were chatting happily, and even giggling about a couple of boys in the next row over.

Hannah and I hung out together for the remainder of the competition, and even during the awards ceremony. At the end of the day she thanked me, and told me that she is usually “unbelievably shy” but I was easy to talk to.

Katie from Dramatic Rants of an Intellectual Teenager posted something a little while ago that reminded me of that day. She wrote about first impressions, and how they “suck eggs.” (She is of course 100% correct.) But her post really got me thinking about how others may view me, and about how I view others.

I mean, don’t we all have different sides? Every single person– no matter how confident they may be – is vulnerable in some way. The most “flawless” people have insecurities, and even the painfully shy become outgoing when they feel the freedom to be themselves. So how can we possibly judge people based on first impressions? You can’t truly evaluate someone’s character until you know them intrinsically – until you know their quirks, their faults, and what “makes them tick.” I think we often make assumptions about people’s character when, we are in fact, only seeing one “side” of their personality. This in turn greatly skews our perception of them, and we may judge them unfairly.

Which brings me to my own personal ponderings – who do people think I am? Honestly, you’d probably get different answers, depending on who you asked. Not because I am “different” around certain people, but because some know me better than others. Some would probably say that I’m thoughtful and mature; others would say that I’m pretty silly and crazy. Most would say that I have a good sense of humor and am smart. A lot of people, I feel, would be shocked to know the depth of my thoughts.  Many, (especially some adults,) don’t really take me seriously.

But if you were to ask me who I am, I would tell you this: I’m simply that girl you sometimes see practicing dance steps in the aisles at Wally World. I am the girl who likes to wear both sweats and dresses, depending on her mood. I’m the girl who stays up late eating oatmeal, and playing minecraft with her brother. I am the girl who, through all of life’s ups and downs, will love Jesus, and all He has given her – no matter what.

I am just a girl who is trying to live life passionately.

Who are you?

~ Abby





of summer

image courtesy of weheart it

I cannot wait for this summer.

I'm ready to exchange my well-worn jeans and chucks for shorts and flip flops. I long to be able to drive down the road with the windows rolled down and my sunglasses on, all the while singing along to my favorite songs. I'm duly prepared to spend my days reading, sipping lemonade, and soaking up the sunshine. {It will be such a difficult existence. ;)} 

And now, the end is in sight. I take my last two finals this week, {history and chemistry,} and then I shall be free. *Cue the hallelujah chorus*  :D

I have decided that this summer, I will enjoy every single moment; everything from those silly yet perfect moments with friends, to The-Week-of-No-Sleep. {a.k.a 4-H judging week.} At the beginning of this upcoming school year, I want to look back on this summer and be able to say that I made every moment count. I want to be able to say that I didn't let new experiences and opportunities pass me by, that I took a few chances and cherished every single God-given moment -- even the ones that might not exactly have been pleasant. I want to live life passionately.

So if things get a bit quiet around here at times, please understand it's because I am out enjoying this wonderful, beautiful life.

~ Abby